for immediate release:
Cambridge university ( under martial law ), announced the creation of a mammalian transfer device, which will deliver living persons to a parallel universe and will be available FREE at all hours to any Democrats, new world order elitists, and anti-conservatives who wish to travel to the final frontier, and:
“GO FUCK THEMSELVES”
The announcement was declared a microaggression by the 9th circuit appeals court in Hawaii whereupon ordered DESTROYED by the EU police under direct command of the leaders of a ballot verified by all nations to document the 92% popular vote of the entire planets nations, as well as the gov’ts of virtually all the nations discovered.
The one holdout was of course Donald Trump, who just had to one up everyone and added a requirement which both stayed the decision, as well as delayed implementation of the technologies destruction for two weeks, which meant that in all worlds connected, ( theoretically an infinite number ), would have no liberal population at all since all would leave, secretly ordering all the resulting receiving terminals were disabled. The United Nations EU and ALL gov’ts as well as the popular vote overrided the original proposal to a final tally of 99.9% with a 5% margin of error.
In a statement from the Stanford computer department:
“Likely a tally of just Maga self identified particpants, who have been vouched for by 2 or more Trump supporters, would show, ( although the study could never be funded ), seemingly it is the software itself , never coded to anticipate such coherent intention, essentially just added the margin as otherwise there would be no output.”
Aside from this minor sliver of doubt, the orders were carried out one week ago, and the positive effects are already being reported as a 90% reduction in crime, and the discovery of a vast hidden supply of oil, money, and wealth of all types which had been taken immorally from the peoples of every nation. Redistribution has began immediately, and independent peoples and neo-national observers report that bias, anger, virtue signaling, and the replacement of racial awareness with a higher token of simple membership in the group called: “human being” have all begun to take place.
There is general astonishment in some quarters, with various groups declaring it to be the Rapture, or fulfillment of other prophecy, while large amounts of the older studied respondents declaring, “Nonsense, Anywhere, absent liberalism, slavery, women’s liberation 2.0 , unbridled capitalism, socialism and other forms of organised exploitation, the world has always been experienced in a near paradisaical state. “
the statement went on in part, to read:
it’s better than shooting them like in ancient popular uprisings when people did not have access to technology. The nationals of the earth have immediately created and joined a mutual sharing treaty which stands likely to be a landmark human pivot point, allowing for a huge reduction in untreated illness, human predation of all kinds, and the restoration of relatively near reciprocal human kindness and respect for all peoples.”
there is some speculation of a discussion regarding making the event a mandatory world participation day of celebration, but no evidence to support this has been produced. Of concern though is since that idea first appeared virtually the entire world population demanded the Trump proposal be overturned to add a one line change: inclusion the new proviso all receiving terminals be destroyed.
At a news conference, a beaming Trump stated:
“8d chess at 528 million miles an hour folks, it’s a complicated business. Smiling, he and family departed for an unknown location.”
In other news, after evaluation of dozens of hitherto repressed research studies in the correlation between disastrous liberal economic consequences of unregulated corruption of several key sectors of modern society, stocks markets corporation boards of companies profiting in excess of 5 million dollars a year ,and several other former power centers have been monitored covertly and appear to be a fair, honest, and modest, ethical places for identification of those members of the population remaining who support to the point of participation, capitalization of oppression of other humans.
Reports indicate the new peoples Council, formed of neutral and former political conservatives members across virtually every human persuasion from moderate to extreme, who engage of any activity of import to all, report the unanimous decision has been made to apprehended restrain and deep freeze all individuals in hopes a cure for the disorder be found. The only remaining Trump sponsored section of the original bill is that the freeze appropriation not exceed the amount appropriated for a southern border wall be more than $1US. When asked about this seeming defeat, the President responded, “I ALWAYS told you the American people were great.” All i did was remind us.
.end of transmission
6.21.2019